So, here’s the story, and I’ll try to be brief.

I got hurt, and now I’m less hurt.

…What? It’s brief.

Ok, if the brief version isn’t enough, then here’s the long version:

At some point around the time of my last post, I applied to grad school to study psychology (specifically, health psychology). Rather a drastic career change from some people’s point of view, although less so from mine. I was accepted, and started school in January. In the mean time, I think I was a little burned out from posting on two blogs at once, and I decided to take a break. Apparently that got out of hand (sorry).

The other, more salient thing that happened that probably had more of an impact on my not coming back to writing, was a chronic foot injury that’s had me sidelined for over a year. It’s a chronic overuse type of injury, and I can’t really say how it happened with any certainty. What I do know is that in September I started noticing some pain in my left foot that would flare up after workouts, but go away over the weekend or any time I took a couple days off. I figured it was no big deal, it didn’t hurt that much, and I basically ignored it (kids, don’t ever do that).

Obviously it didn’t just go away, it got worse. In December I went to a doctor who told me that “I don’t really understand what you do, so I don’t know what to tell you.” He confirmed that it wasn’t broken, told me to wear shoes and sent me on my way. Thanks, Doc. As you can probably guess, that didn’t help either.

So I kept working out on it, but with shoes, and it kept hurting…a lot. I tried taping, which got me through my workouts, but eventually even that wasn’t enough. In February I finally hit my breaking point. I went to a different doctor, who sent me to physical therapy, and I stopped working out, hoping that a few weeks of rest would help it heal (hint: it didn’t).

That brings me to the other downside of this stupid injury: food. We’ve discussed how I like food, yes? Well I went from working out 9-10 times a week (seriously, I was doing P90x and kickboxing at the same time – I was a bit of a beast) to doing NOTHING overnight. My eating habits did not adjust as quickly, and my body is still paying the price. After a few weeks I was at least able to stop the crazy gains, but even then I kept slipping – a pound a week, on average, no more, but no less. Let’s just say I have got a lot of ground to make up.

The worst part was I didn’t know what to do about it. Diet changes, yes, but I suck at that. I tried and failed. And failed. And failed. And this whole time, I was barely able to walk. Somehow after I stopped working out, my foot locked up, and it got worse instead of better. There were times I could barely walk across the room, and I could never walk without pain. Frankly, I couldn’t sit without pain. Pain was background noise to my life. Add to that the fact that I’d lost my number one stress relief in workout out, and I was not a happy person.

I had never thought much about chronic pain before I had it…believe me, it’s no joke. Not that I thought it was before, but I never appreciated how much it messes with your head. I was cranky. I was beyond cranky, I was unpleasant. I was unhappy, I was in a Funk with a capitol F. That didn’t help the eating situation any, let me tell you (especially with grad school plus freelancing taking my stress levels to 11). I couldn’t find anything that didn’t hurt, except for swimming, and quite frankly it hurt so bad just to get to the gym and into the pool that I quit doing that, too. It was always ‘just a few more weeks’ until I would be back, or so I told myself. I had to, or I would have lost it.

Ok so enough of that. Where am I now? After 5 doctors, 2 physical therapists, 2 orthopedic specialists, and 2 chiropractors, I seem to be getting out of the woods…for real this time. The real difference makers? The second ortho guy (foot and ankle specialist, referred to by the first ortho guy), who finally gave me a diagnosis and put me in a night splint. And after that, my sent-from-heaven chiropractor. The night splint helped the plantar fasciitis aspect of my foot (one of three ‘itisis’ that I have), but that, the orthotic, and the stretches he gave me still weren’t touching the rest. The chiropractor does this crazy thing called “Active Release Technique,” and it’s a-ma-zing. Hurts like a son of a …gun… but it works. I’ve literally made more progress in the last month than I’ve made in the last year combined.

So how’s that for a novel? I have taken all of the inserts, pads, and orthotics out of my shoes. I am finally back to some activity, and I can walk around without pain or a wonky gait. Doesn’t sound like much, but for me it’s like a miracle…like having my life back. I usually still tape my foot (I have become good friends with Kineseotape), but I don’t even do that every day. I have to use a lot of ice, and do a lot of stretching, but things are looking up.

Coming up: Part II of my return (Oh yes, there’s more. There’s BOMBSHELLS, people. It’s been a year and a half, it’s a lot to catch up on!)

I will still be around, posting when I feel like I have something to add to the world, instead of every night. Every night leads to boring posts about my day, and it’s not fun for any of us. I will also try to get back to doing my form occasionally, although with kickboxing keeping me in shape I’m feeling less pressed to practice for health’s sake and more to make sure I don’t forget it. That approach is kind of lazy and needs much less practice time, but I’ll try. Until next time, stay well amigos.

Whelp, let’s get to it.

Food:

Breakfast: Do I even have to say it at this point? PB&J

Lunch: Taco/burrito/whatevers

Other: Supper was a special dish I call a Peanut Buster. Provided by my friend Dairy Queen. She’s very nice.

Yesterday started out identical, and then I went to a housewarming party and that would be too complicated to try to document. Various party-type foods, and a Moscow Mule. If you’re not familiar, and a surprising number of people at the party were not, the Moscow Mule is an alcoholic beverage best known for being served in a copper mug, and for the fact that bars make you give them a credit card and a drivers license before they’ll serve you one – so you don’t make off with the mug. The copper is important for its reaction with the ginger beer, or so they say. Anyway, it was interesting, and pretty good, but I don’t know if I need that much ginger in my life. Half of one would do me fine.

Current Weight: Yesterday 161, Today 159

No workout tomorrow, though, I have places to go and my shoulder needs a break. Saturday, maybe, if I’m feeling motivated. As miserable as the last time was, I’m not feeling too keen, but I don’t like going the whole weekend without a workout either. One of the things that sucks about working out is how fast you can lose conditioning. Even just missing a couple days last week, I felt it when I got back to class on Tuesday. So anyway, we’ll see what happens over the weekend.

Food:

I could summarize this part by saying ‘yesterday, again’

Breakfast: PB&J

Lunch: Tacos. Although I added some beans, so maybe they’re burritos now. I was never really sure where that line is.

Other: Milk, 1/2 a can of Dr. Pepper (the other half went all over my coffee table and almost got my laptop…good times)

Mexican food is delicious, but the difference between most of the dishes is nuanced at best.

Current Weight: 161

Food:

Breakfast: PB&J

Lunch: Tacos

Supper: Taco stuff, minus the tortilla

Other: Milk, soda

Yep.

Current Weight: 161

The wedding weekend was great, I saw so many old family friends that it was like going to a reunion. I also got the opportunity to hang out with two kids who I knew very well, both through my church and from babysitting them for around 10 years. I haven’t seen them in 5 years (they were 12 and 7 then, they’re 17 and 12 now) so it felt like being put through a time machine. I always had high expectations for them, but I was completely blown away. They have become the most beautiful, smart, and incredibly personable young people…I feel grateful to have had even a small part in their lives.

I’ve spent so much time working on ‘real job’ kind of things for the last few years, but I look back on it and it doesn’t mean anything to me. Those two kids mean everything, and every other kid that I’ve taught or mentored in the last few years…Some pixels on a screen pale in comparison to that. It’s why I’ve always loved teaching Taekwondo, and why I miss teaching it now. It’s not so much what’s being taught as the impact that it has on kid’s lives.

So anyway…after that. I went to my final ballet class last night – it was almost a relief. As much as I would love to have the abilities of a dancer, I don’t connect with the experience of training the same way I do to martial arts. I enjoyed it while I was there, but I didn’t find myself practicing in my off days, or really wanting to go back to class the way I do with Taekwondo. It was a fun and worthwhile experience, but I’m glad I don’t have to rely on it as my new hobby. Maybe I was wrong, and what’s being taught does matter…passion matters. It took me one whole paragraph to change my mind on that subject.

Tonight I had kickboxing, and even though it is much more brutal and exhausting physically, I would much rather be there. The fact that I have friends who take class with me is a factor as well, but it’s where I want to be. I’m glad that everything came together to get me into that class – it was a hard decision at the time, but it’s been the right choice by far. I’m wired to kick things, or something.

Food:

Yes, food. We’re still doing this?

Breakfast: PB&J

Lunch: BBQ Pork sandwich (wedding leftovers…win.)

Other: Chocolate Milk, and I think I ate some other things but I forgot. Sorry.

Seriously drawing a blank on the rest. Ah, well, there was food there somewhere. The wedding weekend didn’t derail me as badly as I thought it might, although I certainly ate too much. But I think (knock on wood) that I’m done with crazy holidays, weddings, graduations, baby showers (did I mention the baby shower the day after the wedding? Same family, different couple ;), and the like, so I can go back to eating like a normal person for more than a week at a time.

Current Weight: 161

I’m headed out tomorrow for a wedding, back in my old stomping grounds. An old family friend is getting married, and lots of old friends are coming, so it’s becoming a reunion of sorts. I won’t attempt to blog while I’m home, so I’ll have to leave you until Sunday or Monday, when I get back.

While I’m home I’ll try to fight the good fight and not eat until I die. Seriously. My family speaks the language of food. We love with food, Holidays revolve around meals, we celebrate with food, we mourn with food…you get the idea. It took me a long time to be able to say ‘no’ to my grandparents pushing second and third helpings of everything, and I think they’ve learned not to take it personally. Regardless, it’s hard – when my family’s around the food is amazing. A-ma-zing. And I don’t have to cook it all by myself, which makes everything taste better.

Food:

Breakfast: PB&J

Lunch: More leftover enchiladas

Supper: (look Ma, three meals!) Pizza

Other: Cookies, Milk, Soda

Well hello there appetite, I wondered where you’d gone. I missed you…sort of.

Current Weight: 162

Have a fantastical rest of the week and a magnificent weekend, and I’ll be back Sunday!

I’ve been slowly working my way through Psychology – The Briefer Course, by William James. Now, since this book’s original publication was in 1892, I take it with a grain of salt, but it’s still being published (this edition was printed in 2001) so somebody obviously thinks it still has value.

Habits: either helpful or nasty little things, depending on what they are. Basic premise of the first chapter: habits are a mental process – but mental processes are, at their core, physical processes. Therefore, a habit is made up of a series of electrical signals traveling between the neurons in your brain in the same path over and over – like they’re digging an electrical trench in your brain. This makes it hard to break habits, since you have to convince this current to travel a different path than the one it’s used to. Fortunately, that process can work for good as well as bad.

Habits can be complex – driving the same path to work every day, for example, or complex emotional responses – so the most important part of a habit is the beginning, the first action that triggers the chain reaction. It’s like when you start tying your shoes. Once you start, your unconscious takes over and you probably couldn’t stop in the middle and then go on without thinking about it. To change a habit, you need to head off the first spark. To start a habit, you need to define a spark.

A habit will have a better chance of taking hold in your brain if you set a trigger point; some consistent thing that you do that your brain can associate with the entire chain of actions that make up the habit. Then when it encounters the trigger, it can bypass the conscious part of your brain. Instead of you having to fight a battle with yourself: ‘I should really go to the gym some time today,’ your brain recognizes the trigger – getting home from work, getting up in the morning, whatever point you set that’s consistent – and sets in motion the habit. If you can set and keep to a specific trigger, the habit will take hold more quickly, and be easier to stick to.

To break a habit, you have to somehow divert the trigger point – give it some other path to follow. This is my own inference, but the easiest way to break an old habit may be to set a new one up to take its place that uses the same trigger. So you’re not just trying to stop the habit when it hits, you’re diverting it into some other, more desirable action.

I’m not doing the whole chapter justice here, but I picked out a bit that I thought might be more interesting and practical…and I tried to write it in English. It’s an interesting book, but it requires plowing through a lot of very dense material; you can definitely tell it was written in academia, in another era.

Food:

Lunch: Enchiladas

Other: Cookies, milk, chocolate milk

My stomach is getting better, but not there yet.

Current Weight: 160

Hello, and happy Monday! Not a very eventful day, but nice, not insanely hot, and I felt reasonably productive. A slow day for work, but things are looking up. Dance class is funny, I’m basically the only person in the class – only once has anyone else been there. So it’s like private lessons, but for a group class price…I feel almost guilty. Actually it would be nice if it were a bigger class, more people would make it a little more energetic, but this way I get to learn on my own pace.

I’m no dancer yet, never fear. My one advantage is that Taekwondo muscles (and balance) come in handy for kicks and arabesques and all the other french words that I have to learn. It’s much better than starting from scratch.

Food:

…Brunch? PB&J

Supper: Enchilada skillet, although I bastardized the recipe to fit what I had on hand.

Other: Soda, Cookies, Milk

Mmmm bastardized recipes. It was actually pretty tasty. I swear I’m not trying to skip meals, I’ve been feeling somewhere between queasy and just not hungry, so I don’t eat. I grabbed some meds today (I have a history with this, sadly) so I should be back to normal soon.

Current Weight: 162. Ah, that beefy, cheesy enchilada thing. ‘Twas the death of me. Also, eating at 8:30pm.

Hope your weekend was excellent – see you Monday.